A toxic trait about me is I really don’t like rules. I hate narrow confining boxes that feel like they are trying to restrain me. I could have the smallest interest in something but as soon as a rule is placed upon it is my biggest desire to break the rule. Just out of curiosity and my commitment to uncontrollable chaos. Telling me I can’t do something? The surest way to make me the most determined to prove you wrong. Saying something is bad? I’ll cook up a scenario where that is the only cure.
From my experience rules are not made to help us or keep us safe, it is something that is enforced to protect whoever is professing that rule should be in place. It isn’t for our own good, mainly the good of the enforcer which is why they are so compelled to profess the narrow minded “good” nature of the rule. Well you’re not fooling me, person who has the power to tell others what is and isn’t okay. If I don’t act upon going against the limitation, I will silently store the act of power trip in my brain. And I won’t trust you/institution’s ability to think holistically about the well being of others. To me, honoring freedom = respecting others (and the nature of our universe/God).
Yes yes I know it’s toxic! Narrow minded itself. I’m working on it. I do believe it’s valid, not all the time but it is a useful challenging belief. Everything in balance. I need to harness a bit more respect for the caring nature of some rules.
There are few rules here in Hawaii. There are suggestions like don’t swim when the tide looks rough and be careful when hiking but those aren’t rules, they’re guidelines if you don’t want to die. Don’t be stupid. Or be stupid! and pay the price – ultimately the choice is totally yours. (Or be very smart and you still might die! That’s the universe folks. We can try and try and try but there’s no avoiding it)
Aloha is kinda like a rule here. It’s a widespread standard of respect that keeps most people on the same page. Treat each other and the land with kindness, and respect, like we are brothers and sisters. This is a rule that everyone on the island upholds with one another. Aloha is everywhere alive and well. If you are not acting with aloha you will be corrected very quickly. Not by some superior force but by your neighbor.
Even when it comes to the most aggravating behavior, Hawaiians still allow freedom to be a core principle in their requests.
People driving fast is a major difference from mainland to island life energy. People come to the island and continue to drive in the same asshole ways that they do at home. More than driving it is walking, talking, driving, shopping, socializing etc etc.
A major issue within neighborhoods is that there are those who drive slow and those who don’t give a fuck – and they continue driving the way most people do on the mainland (like assholes) (who have super important shit to get to) (very busy) (very important).
Even with this incredibly tense and dividing issue the verbiage expressed by locals is still an offering, a suggestion, an honoring of choice.
Try slow.
It’s everywhere. Locals politely invite others to be respectful to their land and customs. By having respect for foreigners while simultaneously objecting to their behavior. Please try slow.
Try it! It’s actually kinda nice if you just try it out.
This is a long way of saying, Hawaiian uphold their values. They deeply embody what they expect from others and they don’t compromise themselves in the process.
Today this practice is lost in our frustration. While we criticize others politics, behaviors, manners, values, we forget that when we are critical we often abandon the very respect that we are saying is lacking. It becomes a hypocritical action. If we could embody some forgiveness and acceptance we are much more likely to add positivity to the world, our communities, each other, our children** (!!).
Love thy neighbor most religions preach. Don’t love them when they agree with you, when they are alike you, when they don’t challenge you. Love them. This isn’t me telling you to love, be gentle, and accept each other, rather asking you to try it.
Sometime on Sunday 