This past week has tested me. I was worried this blog would be too vacationy and life-laugh-love esk so I’m glad to have the opportunity to report on some real shit.
It has been a stormy, scary weather week that has left me shook and humbled. For three days on and off there was pounding heavy rain and extreme winds that I can’t even describe how mighty the force was. Actually I can – it completely took my tent. Yep, it fully destroyed it. Swept it up, ate it up, and dumped it in the chicken coop. Very quickly myself and everything I owned was left without shelter, all very wet. Luckily I am living with 8 other wonderful humans who all came to my rescue and helped get me and all my wet shit to safety. Power of community is magical – how something so shitty can actually be touching because you know you are not in it alone.
In addition to this intense storm, that left the entire farm and many others without electricity, I am having the worst period ever. Yep it’s true my bleeding, hormones, emotions and pain have been at all time high (yikes i know). I don’t really care if that is TMI for you. Periods are very real and no one should be having sex if you can’t even discuss the process that allows life to happen??
Another thing that happened this week was I put on a new moon ceremony for our group and it was very special and beautiful. I’ve not had the chance to lead an open, ritual ceremony with a community and it was very special. I put my bleeding heart into it and it very much paid off. As a group we set intention for our time together and asked the land to assist in making our wishes come true.
New moon downloads:
Your path is so intently curated to bring you where you need to be.
We are all trying hard to shine at our brightest.
Masculine and feminine are both so equally divine and necessary
Heart work can be felt and isn’t that what we’re all going for? To be able to feel something
Having faith that the bright full moon will return is your navigation through the darkness
Kauai this week was telling me you can’t have one without the other. Yes these islands are gorgeous, breathtaking, rich, fertile, lush, holy, so so beautiful AND in order for that to be true there must be balance and you most love her for the intensity she beholds in all capacities. The storm I experienced was scary. I was uncomfortable, dirty, cold and wet for what felt like forever. The winds showed no mercy and if you tried to fight it in any way you were just a damn fool. The rain hurts and is so loud you can’t even hear yourself think. Also radar is just a huge joke don’t waste your time because it is constantly changing.
I feel disappointed in myself for being dazzled and woo’ed by hawaii’s bountiful beauty. You can’t claim to love her unless you love all of her. I was so inspired by the intense energy I completely ignored my awareness of balance and appreciation for darkness. Yes I could feel the might and how powerful the earth is here yet when it came down to it, I just wanted the sunny, warm easy earth I initially was so enchanted with. I love all the wisdom that is readily available with the moon, yet I don’t want my womb to also feel the pull of her energy when it comes to bleeding and pain. Good stuff only please Moon! #goodvibesonly #barf
I’m disappointed I didn’t see it coming, my response was resistance and frustration, and of course worst of all this is exactly what I preach against.
It hurts me so deeply when people like to laugh and dance with me yet can’t handle my tears and heavy heart. It makes me feel like a service and like I’m constantly not good enough, im never happy enough. I’m glad I have the opportunity here to talk about being a hypocrite and how so so often I can’t take my own advice.
Now I’m sleeping in a greenhouse and it’s lovely and who knows what blessing this new home has in store for me. I’m so grateful to Hawaii, in all its glory, colors and shades.
Photo Credit to my girl Katie Schmerbach ❤
YouTube does not seem to like me much so here are the songs I’ve attempted to link
- Killing Me Softly – The Fugees
- Hell n Back – Bakar
Sometime on Sunday 