Sometime on Sunday

I used to never tell people outside my small circle that I loved them. ’I use it wisely’ ‘I don’t just say it anyone’ – tough girl shit. I’ve been telling people I love them lately and it feels so dang good and freeing. How complicated I was making it for myself. Which tracks… damn caroline why you gotta make it so hard like that? I want to be good enough. I want others to be good enough. I wonder to myself if as I am writing – I am good enough to write about her (the moons) beauty?

I had a full moon ceremony and it was one for the books. I typically put a lot of thought, planning, and intention into my moon ceremonies but this one was different. I had a lot less control and in the moment I was freaking out, feeling everything spiral out of control. But of course, as soon as I released myself from the shackles of my condescending ego – I could take in the absurd beauty. 

It was not a full moon, it was one day after, which I think is worth noting – usually when working with the moon, I try to work with the most full or most new moon (most potent energy I can come in contact with). Which mimics my maximal, competitive desire to be the best. Best, most achieving, most gracious, fastest, smartest, most greatest. I’m getting tired just writing about it 😦 This obviously comes from a place of insecurity – And lack of faith. 

While it can have beneficial intentions, ultimately it is disrespectful. Everyone knows when you make it to the top – it’s not all that cracked up to be. Or, because you cracked it all up it ruins it. One of these two or something like that (i’ll let you know when I make it to the top of anything). Anyway, the moon was still full, mighty and beautiful one day after and had lots of power to share.

 I love doing moon ceremonies with people who have never seen or participated in one because, although it is karmically risky, I think it’s important to normalize. It is not weird, woowoo or out there, to all gather and share in appreciation for a natural event and pause. To admire the beauty, the wonder of being alive, you can’t help but feel something beyond. 

I like to make it feel approachable, chill and nothing to be intimidated by. It’s really just giving thanks to the Earth for having us, and acknowledging how little power we have. During a full moon the sun and moon are directly opposed – so it’s a lot of energy to take in. This may be why we all feel so cray when it’s a full moon. The purpose here is to dance around in the hectic ambiance and not worry and think about why is this happening?! It just is… and there is nothing we can do about it. So at our ceremony we danced. It was chaotically beautiful and we fully recognized how weird we appeared – but we dance in the chaos anyway. 

~ Moon Downloads ~

 She sure is special right now – but every stage is. Full is big and powerful and we tend to glorify that a bit too much. She is always always giving her presents to us, whatever she’s got. 

Tonight she has a lot to give. Looking into her is like a lover or crush – am I doing too much? I ask like a nervous lame kid searching for reassurance and affirmation.

 Just being present and taking in her beauty, her energy – it’s enough. Actually, trying to make something out of it is where the trouble is. She just is and how lucky are we to know her?

So much neutral love gazing up at her (which is the most powerful love of all – nowhere up or down to go).

 I love you. We make it a big deal but it’s really not. It’s like saying – I’m alive and you are too. Nothing huge, definitely nothing small, here we are – basking in the energy of our, aliveness..

Thank you moon for having me. 

Hoopoonopono prayer 

I am sorry 

Forgive me 

Thank you 

I love you